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Wow, Mali!

2010-06-03T18:55:00.001+01:00

One evening, while hanging out together doing chores, me folding clothes and he ironing, I thought it would be fun to quiz him, cause it's been a while since he brushed up on his tagalog..

Me: what's "tiger" in tagalog?
Pranav: "TIGRRRE!"

Me: what's "lion"?
Pranav: "hmmm...i forgot..."

Me: "rat"?
Pranav: "uhmm... i forgot..."

Me: how about "dog"?
Pranav: "PUSA!"

*me laughing*

Me: "ant"?
Pranav: "PATO"!!!

(The funny part is, I have never mentioned the word "pato" to him before, so it was hilarious that he actually said that -- i have no idea where he got that from!)

The conversation ends with me telling him what the correct names for the animals were.

The next day...

Me: Do you remember? what's "pato" again?
Pranav: (in super pabibo mode, with matching big proud smile) "DAGA!!!"

*again, i have no clue where he heard "daga" from! Such a funny guy. I smile and laugh out loud whenever I remember this conversation.

Farewell, MJ

2009-06-26T17:12:00.012+01:00

Shiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon

I am overwhelmed with sadness. Today is a sad day. An icon of my childhood, gone too soon. Such a brilliant performer, and so much a part of our lives. If only the respect and adoration was given to him while he still could hear the praises and the tributes, instead of the scandals and controversies that seemed to plague him especially during the last years of his life.

I am so sad, to the point of being heart broken. What a waste. He gave so much of himself as an artist, and as a person wanting so desperately to experience the childhood he never had, but then at the end of it all still lived such a sad, strange life. I pray he is finally happy now. RIP Michael.

Thank you, Dad

2009-06-21T02:37:00.005+01:00

I am reposting this entry I wrote several years ago. Happy Father's Day, Dad! I love you much!

Sunday, June 19, 2005

THANK YOU, DAD

Today is Father's Day, all over the world. Though I
wasn't able to speak to my dad, I sent him an sms and
was actually chatting with him (and my mom) last
night, and was even able to 'see' him & say goodnight.

I went to church today, and the service was all about
Fathers. I was remembering my dad so much, and so many
parts of the word brought tears to my eyes. I miss my
dad. I can never get used to being thousands of miles
away, no matter how much time has passed. My heart
will always long for home. And it's my mom and dad I
miss most of all.

Indeed how blessed I am for being born into my family,
for having parents such as mine. I grew up
priviledged, and had a happy childhood. How I was
brought up is something I'm very proud of, because it
has given me character, which has proven to be most
useful, now that I'm far from my family. I sometimes
watch other people, and wonder. What could have
happened to them in their life that made them the way
they are?

I know I am the way I am because I grew up this way. I
have parents who love each other, and who are actually
good friends. Till today, I see them still so
connected to each other. They are each others'
partner. They still kiss and they cuddle. They are
true-blue foodies, enjoying new places as much as
their old faithfuls. They watch movies together, go
gimmick together. They sing together. They dance
together. I love watching them dance, having fun and
being happy together.

I have my dad to thank for this and a lot more. My
dad, who works hard from morning till night to finish
jobs he has set out to do. When I was growing up, even
if he had to stay late at the office, he made sure we
still spent quality time. I grew up going to the beach
every summer (and christmas), Caliraya almost every
weekend in the summer, the zoo, the parks, the movies, the plays,
the shows (Holiday on Ice every single year -- even until
now!!!)

My dad who is everyone's dad, even my cousins, they
seek his advice and find comfort in his wisdom. My dad
who is the mediator in family disputes, whose counsell
everyone trusts. My dad who loves his employees, who
is good to their families.

My dad who is always wanting the best for his
children, giving even when it hurts. My dad who has
supported me and my (in)decisions, not always happy
with the choices I've made, but has given me my own
space, and allowed me room to grow and and make my own
mistakes and learn from them.

My dad is a good provider. He is a good son, and
brother, and husband. My dad is the best dad, not only
because he is MY dad, but because it is true. Anyone
who has met my dad can attest this.

My dad who is ever affectionate, always hugging and
kissing. My dad who so openly expresses his love for
his family. Who never fails to tell me how much he loves me,
misses me and how he wishes he could hug me right now.

I know for a fact that my dad is a rare breed, and I
could search the world over and never find anyone who
can quite compare to him. No man can ever replace
what my dad is to me. Ever.

Thank you, Dad, for all that you have done and are
continuing to do for us, your family. You know I would
never be where I am if not for you, and I would never
be who I am without your wisdom, support, guidance
and love. For having you as my dad, I am truly
blessed. I love you, Daddy! Happy Father's Day.

The Prayer of Jabez

2009-06-09T18:57:00.007+01:00

Oh Lord that You would
Bless me indeed, and
enlarge my territory.

Let Your hand be upon me
to keep me from evil so
that I may not cause pain.
Amen.

hopefulness

2009-06-02T15:47:00.001+01:00

I am waiting for something big to happen, and I am praying, and waiting on His perfect timing.

Please, Lord.

New Moon

2009-06-01T11:32:00.013+01:00

Oh my, my, my! Thanks, Toni, for the heads up.

I CAN'T WAIT! I CAN'T WAIT! I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Life's a beach...

2009-05-31T02:55:00.000+01:00

I so need this right now...

We've been having really lovely weather here the past few days, and I'm hoping it will remain bright and sunny throughout my days off. I am so in need of a vacation and how I wish hitting the beach, as we do in Manila, were as easy.

Sun + Sand = Happiness.

I'm so, so tired. And so, so fed up.

I need to feel the sun on my face and the sand between my toes.

I wanna go home!!!!!!!!!!!!

bea ballerina...er...skaterina

2009-05-25T02:17:00.006+01:00

So so proud of my niece Bea, who brought home gold - #1 in figure skating.

I hope and pray she does pursue this and eventually land herself in London - for the 2012 OLYMPICS!

Well done, Bea-pottie! we are so proud of you. we all love you very much!

Home Alone

2009-05-21T14:50:00.004+01:00

After a really tiring week, looong looong shifts and super lack of sleep, I'm finally off and chilling at home. Alone. And although I have a hundred and one things to do on my list, there's this sense of "me-time" in the air. I'm finally alone without the need to talk - to anybody. I love this feeling. Sometimes we all just need to be on our own.

First off my list, I baked. Pranav's been hankering for me to bake cake, but my schedule the whole month's been so hectic that I kept having to put it off. Wawa naman, so today by hook or by crook, I finally did it, and baked 60 chocolate cupcakes. There's something so comforting about the smell of baking...and baking chocolate, at that. The whole house smells sooo lovely.

I have yet to do loads of stuff, but just thought I'd slow down and just bask in the quietness of my home, and the beautiful sunshine streaming in through my window. Days like this make me just want to stay in and waste the day away...too bad I don't have the luxury of wasting time just right now.

Forever My Mom

2009-05-10T17:56:00.023+01:00

"In the childhood memories of every good cook, there's a large kitchen, a warm stove, a simmering pot and a MOM."
~ Barbara Costikyan

For my Mom, who will drop everything, cancel everything, and be with me...whenever, wherever I need her...who has me covered in prayers that the Lord cover and protect me with His precious blood...that my life be always filled with His blessings and favour...for my Mom who so lovingly sends me packages filled with all my favourite things, through the post...who will always take the time to patiently teach me and share with me recipes only she knows by heart...for my Mom, who can dry my tears down the telephone...for her wisdom, and her love, and for "loving who I love"...I am forever grateful.

Thank you for my childhood.

Thank you for my life.

Thank you for a life filled with memories to see me through.

Thank you for making me feel that nothing is worth more than having me home...and for making my every homecoming the highlight of your year.

Thank you for my "hero's welcome" year after year after year.

Thank you for making me feel wanted, precious, irreplaceable.

Of all the Mothers in the world, how wonderful that you are mine.

I love you, Mom, and I miss you everyday. Happy Mother's Day.

Filipino Pride

2009-05-03T10:28:00.003+01:00

The whole world watched...

...how Adobo & Rice battered Fish & Chips

The Battle of East and West

2009-05-01T12:17:00.005+01:00

The world is ready for the Hitman vs Pacman Fight...

ARE YOU?

Piggy Flu in UK

2009-04-28T15:46:00.009+01:00

Sometime last week, out of the blue, I asked Pranav if he was interested to go to Cancun, Mexico. He then asked me why Cancun of all places. I answered, "because I want to swim with dolphins!". Why I came up with that, I don't remember.

I forgot all about Mexico until last saturday, while on my lunch break at work, when breaking news reported of the latest deadly virus, Swine Flu. Scary! First, Mad Cow, then Bird Flu...now this. I am a bit concerned, because although I have no more desire to go to Mexico, Pranav and I work at the airport, in an environment where we can very easily pick up any virus. We deal with passengers that fly to/from Mexico and this is alarming. Last night, there were two confirmed cases of Swine Flu in Scotland. Today, I noticed several people wearing masks. I wonder if it will get so bad that we'll be required to wear them as well...?

Apparently, you can not get Swine Flu from eating pork, but through contact with infected pigs or areas where pigs have been. You get it from an infected person, and it is spread through coughing, sneezing, and touching contaminated areas. Its symptoms are:

*

Google has created a Swine Flu Map where one can track how the infection has spread.

Let's all take necessary precautions, and pray we and our loved ones are spared from this flu virus.

* photo taken from wikipedia

Chicken a la Carte

2009-04-26T01:33:00.000+01:00

This is so sad.

View this movie at cultureunplugged.com

We're 8!

2009-04-23T01:00:00.004+01:00

I always thought you were the best, I guess I always will.
I always felt that we were blessed, and I feel that way still.

My heart overflows with gratitude, that I have you in my life. Through the years, and changing seasons, I know you and I will always have each other. It's been a Great 8, babe. Who would've thought, huh? And they thought we'd never make it.

I love you much and thank the Lord for you everyday.

Sophie at 13

2009-04-19T15:28:00.003+01:00

Today my eldest niece turns 13. Wow, I can't believe we have a teenager!!! When I was home for vacation last November, I sort of got a sneak preview of the long and winding road ahead...waaaaaaaaah!!! Needless to say, the experience had quite a bit of drama. I do not want to think how I would be with my own kids once they hit adolescence. Puberty always scared me.

Nevertheless, I marvel at how grown up our Sophie has become, all independent and responsible. I loved the late nights spent chatting and sharing secrets, the endless question-and-answer sessions. In the same way, I didn't exactly like the little spats, and wasn't really too keen on the non-verbal-Sophie, and her being on the net for hours on end, but hey, it's part of the whole package. I've realised that. When I left, there was a little tampuhan, but it touched my heart how she insisted on not going to school that morning, so she could come to drop me off at the airport. We sat in silence the whole trip to NAIA. When I got to London and started to unpack my carry-on luggage, I saw her letter. Beautifully written. How I cried. This is it, I thought. She's grown up now and no longer a baby.

I can only pray for Sophie, and that her life be always blessed. May she also always know how very loved she is, and I wish she continues to grow into the beautiful, sweet young lady she has started to become. Most importantly, may she always be a good girl the whole Ohana can be proud of.

Love you, my little Ping. Happy Birthday!

Gone too soon

2009-02-09T16:57:00.013Z

Like A Comet
Blazing 'Cross The Evening Sky
Gone Too Soon

Like A Rainbow
Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye
Gone Too Soon

Shiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like The Loss Of Sunlight
On A Cloudy Afternoon
Gone Too Soon

Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach
Gone Too Soon

Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon

Gone Too Soon

It took a while before I could share this. This here, is a pastel portrait of my niece, Angelie Fellici. Born at 6 1/2 months old, on the 1st of January, 2009.

Our little Angelie went back home to be with Jesus after 17 short days, all of which she fought her hardest to survive the tubes and needles inserted into her tiny body. My mom said she never once cried or complained, she just took it all, as if saying, "look, I can do it!". Just before she passed, she was breathing on her own, unsupported by machines, willing to live. In the final moments, she suddenly smiled, as if she was seeing something so wonderful, or seeing someone whom she knew loved her. Angelie's life was physically hard, and painful, and to this day I often wonder, what was the whole point? I've known other babies born premature to survive. Why not our Angelie??? No one, especially babies, should ever have to suffer like that.

But, the Lord has reasons, and His ways are indeed higher than ours. I may not understand all that has happened, but I know that Geli's life had purpose. She is now looking down on us from Heaven, dancing in streets of gold. I cry at never having had the chance to know her, touch her or hold her. I can only hope she knows have very much she was loved and wanted...and that we will finally meet, someday, in Heaven.

Angelie was buried on the 18th of January, the saddest birthday of my life. My birthday will never mean the same again.

First Love

2009-01-16T21:01:00.001Z

Anyone who has ever 'loved and lost' will definitely relate to this. Heartwarming. I love it!

Another year older...

2008-12-03T14:12:00.001Z

Jaanu, today you turn a year older (hah!). I wish for you every good thing Life has to offer... may you have all your heart's desires and may all your (good) dreams come true. You have been the best friend, partner, ally and companion I could ever hope for. Every day I have spent with you has been a blessing. You make my life complete and I wouldn't have it any other way. Happy Birthday, P. Love you much.

voices in my head

2008-11-17T09:46:00.007Z

When my pamangkins are all together, oh my God, chaos!!! And even if there are just two of them at a time, nakakabaliw yung ingay. Like yesterday, on our way from viewing the construction of the house my brother recently bought, Bea and Joaqui were sitting in the backseat with Yaya Chinnie, ang ingay-ingay, I could hardly carry on a conversation with my mom, who was driving, beside me. They were playing their usual game "I spy", so of course they were getting more and more excited, their voices getting louder and louder. I woke up with a headache, and the noise was making me masungit.

I turned to them and said, "Please guys! don't make so much noise naman!". It quieted down for about 20 seconds. Then loud talking and squealing again. I decided to bribe them (I know, bad me!), I said I'd give a prize to whoever can keep quiet ALL the way to their other lola's house in Tahanan, where they were going to fly a kite. Aba, silence. Wow, that's all it needed, bribery. After a few more seconds, I could hear rustling, as both of them were doing sign-language and trying to talk in *loud* whispers. My mom started to talk amidst trying to stiffle her laughter. The kids were getting restless.

Me: Ma! that goes for you too! No talking!
Mom: Waaait, I have a question!
Me: Ok, what?

Before my mom could ask her question...

Joaqui: Tita Boo? is it okay if I talk lang with my brain?

*laughter all the way.

The Long Journey Home

2008-11-09T22:00:00.000Z

Just one more sleep to go, and I'm HOMEWARD BOUND! Doesn't matter that the flight(s) will seem to take forever, like they always do... I'm going home!

I'm so excited cause my Mom and Dad will fly to Hong Kong again this week, to be waiting for me when I land. It will be such a lovely salubong, and I'm really looking forward to this holiday with them, before we fly back together to Manila.

I can't wait to feel the sun on my face again. What a welcome break from the freezing cold, I just hope I don't get sick again (which always happens) when I go through extreme climate changes. Anyhow, I'm going home!

Poppy Day

2008-11-09T16:10:00.004Z

In the UK, today is Remembrance Sunday. It marks the 90th anniversary of the end of the First World War. Every year, on the 2nd sunday in November, Poppies are sold as an act of remembrance, and thousands of people gather for memorial services to pay respects to Britain's fallen soldiers.

"Remembrance Day gives each of us, from all walks of life, from every cultural background, and from every corner of the nation, the opportunity to stop, and reflect, and give silent thanks. For there are still those who today risk their lives for our sake. Whether in a church, or in a public place, whether standing at a war memorial or in private at home, let us acknowledge for two minutes, our debt to those who have gone before, and our responsibilities to those who come after us. What others have died for, let us now live for, lest we forget." -Rev. David Lunan

Paola is 4!

2008-11-08T00:00:00.000Z

Today, the baby of our family turns 4 yrs old.

Happy birthday, dearest Paolala! May you always, always know how very much we all love you, and how precious you are to us.

Fifa Boo can't wait to see you again. I love you.

Soul

2008-11-03T16:21:00.005Z

Today is my day-off, and although I'd planned to complete my checklist of to-do's, I ended up staying home the entire day because it's freeeeezing outside!... and because I'm a little bit sad. =(

I want to so much to find my 'happy work place', but it's so hard to do. I want to have job fulfillment. I want to be content. I know it's a matter of thinking something to be good for it to be good, but I just can't seem to fit in, in my new(ish) environment. I feel myself dragging behind. I can't put my finger on it, but I guess I have some overwhelming work tampo issues I need to address. And resolve.

I was reading Mai's blog and came across this:

"The companies that survive longest are the ones that work out what they uniquely can give to the world not just growth or money but their excellence, their respect for others, or their ability to make people happy. Some call those things a soul." -Charles Handy

How apt that I read this today. Makes me realise how much I'm really missing(out on).

I so need a break right now, and I know my going home will heal me from some of the things that are hurting me right now. I can't wait.

Inner Strength

2008-11-01T01:42:00.000Z

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct her/him,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

Then. . .

You Are Probably The Family Dog!

Festival of Lights

2008-10-28T02:13:00.003Z

May the light of prosperity and happiness always shine on us all.

Happy Diwali!

Prayer Request

2008-10-27T12:38:00.003Z

Lord, as I face unprecedented events, deal with unpredictable people, work through unpleasant situations, and stand against unprincipled enemies,
teach me to wait on You for deliverance, trust You for patience,
and ask You for invincible courage. Amen.

'Dre turns 7!

2008-10-26T03:00:00.000Z

Another one of my precious pamangkins is celebrating a birthday. Our lovely Andrea is 7! Time does indeed fly and I'm left feeling older once again.

'Dre is a sweetheart. An intelligent and kind-hearted little girl who loves animals (takes after me!). She is also a girly-girl and at such a young age already preferred to wear 'heels' over flats - and with such grace!

It was also 'Dre who, during a funny moment (mine), laughed at my joke politely and lovingly touched my cheek and said: "Awww FIFA BOO!" - (she meant to say "TITA Boo")- and so that's how my nephews' and nieces' nickname for me came to be. =)

Happy Birthday, 'Dre. Fifa Boo loves you very much.

*The first photo is 'Dre with her dad during recognition day. The second photo was 'Dre as a flower girl during her parents' wedding in December last year.

Lola Rita

2008-10-25T20:46:00.004+01:00

Today is my maternal grandmother's birthday. She passed away 4 years ago. I am remembering her and thought I'd repost an entry I wrote on her first death anniversary. I have been blessed to be able to enjoy ALL my grandparents, both from my Dad's and Mom's side. I believe that grandparents do a lot in shaping the lives of their grandchildren, mostly by creating memories that do indeed last long after their grandparents have passed on. My nephews and nieces are blessed beyond measure that they have my parents, their Gapa and Nama .

This post is quite long. Happy Birthday, Lola!

Lola Rita

"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge,I believe that myth is more potent than history,I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts,I believe that hope always triumphs over experience,I believe that laughter is the only cure for grief,and I believe that Love is stronger than death."-Robert Fulghum

It's been a year already since Lola passed away. Time flies so fast, I can't believe it's been that long already. There are days I find myself thinking of her, and missing her. Her laughter, her company, her recipes, watching tv with her, playing bingo, reading kislap magazines, making pasyal. I grew up close to my grandparents. Grandparents on both sides. I had a relationship with each one of them that defied age and generation gaps. I grew up with Lola, not living with her (in her house), but with her. All the summers of my life, I'd have numerous sleep overs at her house, and it would be such a blast! It was always a treat for me to have her stay with us for several weeks. Christmases, New years, Birthdays, Christenings...Lola was always there.

When I was a sagala in our local santacruzan, Lola made my gown. She lovingly and painstakingly created it from scratch. When I started 1st Grade, she sewed my uniforms. She was always present in all the important events, and she was always so proud to be there for us. When I was little, I stayed with her, for 10 days. I remember that was the first time I was away from my parents, alone, and on my own. She was still living in Sta. Ana, and the entire overnight experience was new to me. The sights, the sounds, the smells. I would look out from the sliding windows and feel I was so homesick, but she made it better. I would lay on her easychair and pretend to "know" how to play Mastermind. Lola taught me how to string beads of a rosary together. I would watch her as she made rosaries of all shapes, colours and sizes. She would give them away to her friends. We would walk to the nearby town plaza and because I'd accompany her to the market, she would buy me a small present every time. My favorites were the small beaded coin purses and tsinelas (slippers/flip-flops) she would buy for me. I'd have rubber slippers, beaded ones, open-toe, thongs, nets etc. Somehow I think lola inspired my love affair with tsinelas! In the mornings, we'd have breakfast together, taho and pandesal with Chiz Whiz. that I would dunk in 'coffee'. She would let me have a very weak coffee, just for the sake of. In the afternoons, we'd sleep siesta and when I woke up it was time for fishballs, barbeque and my favorite chicken mami which we would buy in Mang Ben's sari-sari store. She would buy me my chocolate gold coins, tarzan bubblegum and jojo candy.

As I grew up, she was always so proud when I would be chosen Class Muse or Mama Mary for the Christmas programme. After Lola moved to Pasig, whenever I'd visit,she would always remind me to lose weight. She would always request me to keep my hair long. She kept pictures of all her apos and I would often see her staring at the pictures. In the afternoons, after lunch and all her noon-time shows, she would nod off to sleep, in her chair. I'd tell her to come to the bed and lay down...to which she'd answer, "No...I'm just resting my eyes". I loved all those times I went to Lola's house, most of all because whenever we'd go there, it was always such a happy welcome we'd receive. I didn't realise it then but all the times I spent with her, I was making memories with her that would last me through, to when she would no longer there. I was never able to say the goodbye I wanted to say to her, and I will always regret this. I hope Lola understands and I hope she knows how much I love her. I remember her just as she was when she was all healthy and strong. When there was no confusion or sadness, anger, sickness, pain. I remember Lola's smile, her hugs, her kisses, how she calls all her apos "mahang", and most of all her laughter (bigay na bigay). She would always be so interested to hear all my kwento. When I moved to London, we would often talk on the phone, and her trademark question was "Kelan ka uuwi,boo? Sana sa Christmas, ano? Para sama-sama tayo".

When I came home after two years, that would have been the last Christmas I'd ever spend with her. Lola was sick already, with ventillators and oxygen tanks by her bed and tubes in her nose, but the moment I walked up to her bed, she recognised me and started to cry. This was not the Lola I remember. It was most difficult seeing my ever-independent Lola completely relying on nurses that would stay and watch her round-the-clock. I would sometimes go to her room and just sit with her. She'd be up all night, because of her medications and though restless, she would calm down a bit and start to talk. Saying things over and over again, but I somehow felt she was completely aware of what she was saying. So many things happened in between, so many issues, so much feuding, so much pain. For everyone. I left Manila with a promise that I would come back soon. I didn't keep my promise completely. I came back two months after, but Lola was gone. I remember, on the day she died, I called my mom very early, after being restless all night. She told me to talk to Lola, who was then already in ICU. She couldn't talk but she could hear me. I told my lola I loved her, that I would come home soon so wait for me... my mom said Lola was nodding her head. Little did I know that it would be my last ever 'conversation' with her. After a few hours, I got a call from my dad, Lola had passed away. It was one of the worst feelings in the world, to get that kind of call. It's like you expect it,at some point, but not really. Coming home to say my final goodbye was so hard. To this day I think about what could have been, had I been able to come home and say goodbye in person. Maybe I would have closure. I did get to see and hug her one last time, and I did get to bury her. But somehow I feel incomplete.

It's been a year already. I still miss my lola's yemas. Our meals together in her home with her home-made burgers, her croquettas, our quality time together, walking to Urambo, making pasyal to megamall and shagri-la...and when she'd be staying with us, to Phase 1.

Lola taught me to read. I will always be grateful to her for introducing me to the world of books. "Run, Tagpi, Run" and all those afternoons playing bingo in the terrace will forever be etched in my memory.

I love you, Lola. And I miss you terribly.

...still sick

2008-10-20T21:09:00.006+01:00

I woke up today all ready to go to work. It wasn't until I got out of bed that I realised how sick I still felt. I decided to stay home for another day. The weather outside was so bad, and it was raining continuous. After calling my workplace, I had something to eat so I wouldn't be taking my meds on an empty stomach. I fell asleep again.

Was woken up to the sound of someone fidgeting with the front door's lock. I opened the door and there stood Pranav. He was on the phone to the estate agent and in his hand, he was holding his key. Or half of it. Turns out the key split in half as he was turning the lock. He didn't even know I'd called in sick. I can imagine how it would've been if we had both been out and this happened, how were we to enter the house? I really believe we are always where we're supposed to be. Always.

After making several calls to the estate agent and the locksmith (we said would have to shell out £90 to change the locks, as it is our responsibility),Pranav went out to meet his friends. I then called home to greet Bea happy birthday. I called my mom's cell and a guy answered. It was my brother Punch. Or I thought it was Punch. He couldn't hear me apparently and just as I was wondering why he was answering my mom's phone, he ends the call after telling me I had the wrong number. What?! I called home and turns out my parents were out. After talking to Bea, I asked her to pass the phone to her dad. Punch told me he never spoke to me, and that my mom and dad were out so he couldn't really answer my mom's phone. who did I just talk to??! Sounded so much like him! Freaky.

As we were trying to figure that strange call out, someone was fiddling with the front door again. This time, no key was being used. Someone was literally inserting an envelope-like thing and trying to pick the lock! I ran to the door and got the shock of my life to find the locksmiths standing there. They were as shocked to see me as they thought no one would be home. When I asked how they got into the building, they told me they picked the lock to the security entrance. Oh my goodness! They were actually able to fix the lock in less than 5 minutes. They were quite good and charged me only £70.50 inclusive of VAT.

My GP finally had a slot for me so I got ready and rushed to the clinic (here we say surgery, I dunno why). Everytime my doctor sees me, he always mentions my previous workplace(s) and always thinks I come from Thailand. No matter how many times I correct him, he forgets anyway. After I say, "Doc, I'm from the Philippines!" he says, "Oh! yes, yes, I forgot! It's just that you're the fattest Filipino I've ever come across with". Ganyan. Each and every single time. It could be worse. You should hear what he says to Pranav. Today, he was giving me another form to take to have yet another blood test done. Third time in 2 months. I told him I didn't want another one done anymore as I'd be having another full check-up anyway when I get home to Manila. I am extremely scared of needles and third time in such a short span of time is too much for me. He gave me the form anyway, 'in case I change my mind'. Uh, I don't think so.

It was still raining cats and dogs when I left the doctors after an hour. I got home soaking wet. Drenched. I feel so much worse now. But I will definitely be a cowboy and go to work tomorrow. I can't afford another sick day anymore.

The Sesame Street Persona Test

2008-10-20T15:46:00.001+01:00

I am Elmo
You scored 67% Organization, 67% abstract, and 66% extroverted!

This test measured 3 variables.
First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean.

Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type.

Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. By definition, an introvert concentrates more on herself and an extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more about herself.

You are mostly organized, more abstract, and both introverted and extroverted.

Most people either love or hate Elmo. I hope you love Elmo, because that's who you are.

You are both somewhat organized. You have a good idea where you put things and you probably keep your place reasonably clean. You aren't totally obsessed with neatness though. Elmo has the same basic approach. His place is pretty tidy, but he doesn't spend all of his time cleaning it up.

You both are abstract thinkers. You definitely are not afraid to take chances in life. You only live once. You may notice others around you playing it safe, but you are more concerned with not compromising your desires, and getting everything you can out of life. This is a very romantic approach to life, but hopefully you are also grounded enough to get by. Elmo's whole life is based on fantasy and his imagination. In the beginning he was a regular character, but now he spends most of his time in this fantasy world.

You are both somewhat extroverts. Like Elmo, you probably like to have some time to yourself, but you do appreciate spending time with your friends, and you aren't scared of social situations. Elmo spends some of his time with real friends, but he also needs some time just to chat it up with his goldfish.

Bea-Potee turns 8

2008-10-20T00:00:00.001+01:00

My niece Bea is 8 years old today! When I left for London the first time, she was only a few months old. Now I can't believe our pretty little Potee-Pie is so big already. I look at my pamangkins (nephews and nieces) and am awed at how quick they grow and how fast the years go by. Makes me feel so old. =(

Happy Birthday, Bey. Tita Boo loves you! Ho ho much!

* In the first photo, Bea is holding Mimzy, her beloved bunny which she can't sleep without. Whenever I'm in Manila, we have this running game, of me stealing Mimzy and 'pretending' to 'pack' her in my suitcase, ready to go back with me to London. To this day, I can't seem to convince Bea to let me 'borrow' Mimzy, she just can't part with her.

Boo through the years

2008-10-19T11:25:00.005+01:00

Because I've been sick (and bored out of my skin), I did this to myself! Interesting to see how I'd have looked in the 50's, 60's, 70's and 80's. The 90's seem so long ago, I hardly rememeber them now. Some looks are quite cool...the others, just baduy.

I did warn you I was bored. I need to get well, quick!

Chicken soup for the sick

2008-10-18T19:38:00.004+01:00

After weeks and weeks of erratic sleeping hours, unhealthy meals, weather changes, over working and an overall unreasonable shift pattern, I'm sick again. I was sent home from work today, and when I got home, fell into a deep, deep sleep.

In a little over 3weeks, I fly home to Manila. It's good that this bad case of headache, fever and flu came sooner rather than later, or else I'd be feeling too ill to endure the loooong flight(s) back home. Not a good way to start my much-awaited holiday.

And because I had no one else to prepare arroz caldo for me, I settled on making myself a large pot of chicken soup Pesa style. I had a spoonful and was immediately comforted. Nothing good old chicken soup can't cure. I'm feeling *quite better* already.

It is my prayer that...

2008-10-17T23:25:00.001+01:00

knackered

2008-10-17T08:00:00.005+01:00

I did a 16-hour shift yesterday which lasted throughout the night and well into the morning. I am so tired I can't feel my legs. My head feels light and it's as if I am floating. My body aches all over, my eyes are so heavy, and yet, I am so wide awake.

It's our shop's first Christmas in the brand new terminal, and last night was the Christmas Promo Launch. All Christmas decors were set up, and the perfume and skincare gift sets were all put out for display. My first ever retail job, so this is how it's done. Everything super-scaled, really over-the-top. It was quite an experience to work with the night replenishment team, and because they were all mostly guys, the entire shift went smoothly, everyone worked fast and extremely hard, and we all just got on.

If only all shifts would run like this. Maybe I'd go home after every working day absolutely knackered, but happy and fulfilled.

Petty

2008-10-16T12:58:00.004+01:00

"Life is too short to stress yourself with people who don't even deserve to be an issue in your life..."

I came across this as I was reading Ibyang's blog. So true. It seems I always need to be reminded to not let anything or anyone (at work) affect me. I am just feeling so... I don't know. Unbelonged.

For now, I will say this out loud... I will not stress out. I need to get a life (another life) and stop being so petty. There are so much more bigger issues in life.

It's not always all about me.

Just a plane ride away

2008-10-15T12:20:00.002+01:00

My parents are in Hong Kong. I have been passing the day feeling sentimental. I'm so homesick!. Throughout the day I encounter passengers whose last flight destination is Hong Kong, and I know that if I were to board the HK-bound aircraft, I'd be able to see and hug my Mom and Dad right now. One plane ride. I can't wait to go home. I am so tired. My body is tired, my brain is tired. I just want to go home and be free from my London life...for a while.

At work, I have come to realise that it is possible to feel lonely in a crowd. I used to think I could be alone, but not lonely. I've changed my mind. Now I am just sad. I pray for a way to move on. I know the Lord has bigger plans for me, and I just need to wait patiently for Him to reveal what it is I really have to do. My mom says that at the moment, I am where I'm supposed to be. I do believe this, with my heart, I do. It's just that sometimes, I get frustrated with all the waiting. I let the day-to-day happenings get the better of me. I think I'm just really tired, and I feel so burned out.

Nothing going home to Manila can't cure.

I need my safe place.

I need HOME.

Canadians at last

2008-10-10T21:56:00.003+01:00

I'm so happy for my Tita Peachy (she's my dad's youngest sister) and Tito Carlo and cousins Nina and Mia. After years of waiting, their family finally took their Oath of Citizenship as new Canadians. It was a long journey and it's such happy news that after enduring years away from home and their loved ones, it has all paid off. It couldn't come at a better time, too. What a lovely birthday present for Tita Peach.

This brings me to think about myself and where I'm at. I did not plan to be in London. I didn't even dream of coming here. It has been a long journey for me as well. But then again, no one asked me to choose the UK. There was no motive for me to be here. It just happened. And it was because of my parents' generosity and LOVE (who would ever want to bear having their children far away from them?) that I am here. And my choosing to stay now has brought forth so many experiences. It's not easy to be away from one's family. I still do get homesick (really badly). I still imagine what it would be like to be carefree and FREE of all the responsibilities of juggling work and home.

It's not easy.

But I'm here.

And I'm surviving.

But it really does help to have someone to share the journey with. It just make being so far away from home more bearable.

...and my countdown begins

2008-10-02T01:06:00.000+01:00

Remembering Pappy

2008-10-01T17:20:00.006+01:00

Today is my Lolo Pappy's birthday. He would have been 95.

Remembering him and missing him.

Cheers, Pappy Boling! Happy Birthday!

16 years is still a long time

2008-09-30T16:54:00.002+01:00

Last night was sleepless. I tossed and turned literally the whole night. I was trying to catch my sleep when the strangest thoughts started playing in my head. I started to panic. I rang Pranav (I was in the bedroom, he in the living room -- I'm lazy like that) to come quick. I started to babble on and on about how, in 16 years, I would be 50.

50! Half a century old, and at the moment, with nothing, still, to prove. I have yet to get married, and yet to have kids. I need to find a job where I would be really, really happy. We need to buy our own property, and visit each others' countries. I started getting emotional, and he started...laughing. Tsk! I wasn't being taken seriously, but he explained that 16 years was still a long time for a lot to happen in between. We need to just focus on the day to day, and it will all work out. After the impromptu long talk we had, I finally drifted off to sleep, although it really was a short and mababaw sleep.

I realize now how funny I must have sounded, to have a panic attack out of the blue, but a part of me deep inside is still really scared. At 50, both our parents (his and mine), were accomplished, settled, fulfilled, and had been and done everything. I am overwhelmed by the thought of so much to do in 16 years, and my heart becomes anxious. But I am comforted by the reassurance that I will have the next 16 years with him, however and wherever. I thank the Lord for Pranav everyday.

A new baby

2008-09-29T21:31:00.005+01:00

This is Paola, my brother's youngest daughter. We fondly call her Polala or Lala. Between my brothers' kids, she is our family's bunso. But not for long. I recently found out that in 2009, we will have yet another addition to our ever growing family. My brother Paolo and sis-in-law Bheng are having another baby! How exciting, something to look forward to! So in no time at all, my brother will have 5 kids! Sophie, Andrea, Xavy, Paola...and baby-to-be. Congratulations Bro and Sis!

woopeee!

2008-09-22T14:20:00.000+01:00

Missing Bubba

2008-08-30T03:17:00.014+01:00

When my computer crashed a few months back, along with it went all my saved photographs. I don't back up, so now they are lost forever. I know! I know! Thinking about it makes my heart ache. When I saw this on my friend Kiko's friendster site, I wanted one of my own, and so I had no choice but to uploaded the limited (and blurry) photos saved from my friendster and facebook profiles, hence the major repetition of the images. As you can see, most of them were taken a long, long time ago.

I miss my bubba, and can't wait to have him back home. This has been a long 3 weeks, and it's today I feel most alone. Counting the days till I see him again.

Thanks "Tita Boops"

2008-08-25T16:21:00.000+01:00

These are Ting's kids, Marcus, Bella and Gabrie. Here they are posing in the London shirts I sent them. Aren't the kids so cute?

Marcus looks so much like his dad Marlon, while Bella and Gabrie look like Ting.

Marcus is my godson, but I've never ever met him, or any of them for that matter.

They call me "tita BOOPS"

Strange, isn't it, that I've never met my bestfriend's children? I hope to finally be able to meet them real soon.

Together in London

2008-08-23T17:13:00.003+01:00

Ting and I spent the whole night chatting. Had so much to catch up on: families, partners, kids, work, LIFE. The years that we've spent apart just melted away, like there was never time and distance in between.

We cried and laughed (so hard that there would be no sound). SHE took lots of pictures...everywhere! Had good food...and enjoyed the best company - each other.

And so we made new memories...in, of all places, London! who would've thought?!

BFF

2008-08-22T03:02:00.004+01:00

After 12 long years, we will finally meet again...my best friend Ting is in town! I'm so glad I'll get to see her, even if it's for one night only.

Now how do we squeeze 12 years worth of kwento into one night?!

I'm sure, as before, we'll chat till the sun comes up (and our throats are so dry, they hurt).

isang tulog nalang...and I'm soooo excited, I can't sleep!

Interesting...

2008-08-20T16:15:00.002+01:00

Took this test today, actually very interesting - my results. Although I wouldn't say I agree a hundred percent, it still is pretty accurate. Go on, take the test to get your own report. It'll be fun to share and compare. =)

My personalDNA Report

Rishi & Taj's Wedding

2008-08-17T23:30:00.000+01:00

Pranav's cousin Rishi got married today. Although I've attended weddings in London before, it was my first time to attend a very traditional Indian Wedding, complete with rituals that accompany their marriage ceremony. It was also the first time we met his bride, Taj. Because Rishi is an only child, you can imagine how his wedding, with hundreds and hundreds of people could be really OTT.

It was quite an experience, with all the sights and sounds. The colours of beautiful Indian suits and dresses, the delicious food, the music (real bangra), and the lovely newly-weds. May every happiness be theirs, today and always.

spaces in between

2008-08-16T02:48:00.002+01:00

it's been a while since my last post, and although a lot has happened in between, i don't really know where to start. i think i just need to get through the motions, and find my feet (again?).

waaah.

i know, i know, it could be worse. i'm not complaining...just...*sigh*

bear with me. will update kwento soon.

35 years and counting

2008-08-08T19:34:00.003+01:00

08.08.08

Today happens to be the luckiest (or should I say MOST BLESSED) day ever...my parents are celebrating their 35th Wedding Anniversary!

I bless and honour my parents. It is because of them that my brothers and I live favoured and abundant lives. May the Lord bless them always.

I love you, Mom & Dad!

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Can you spell D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R?

2008-07-02T19:26:00.003+01:00

I had a lot of time on my hands today. Woke up early because I had an ID appointment at Heathrow. I finally got my airside pass for my new job, and finally have a start date. I'm so excited!
After coming back home and preparing breakfast, Pranav left for work. I thought I'd watch a movie. Yes, I can now watch movies alone. In the Cinema. Alone. (Well, I can't wait around for people to be off so we can watch together. I can't even remember the last movie Pranav and I watched together in the theatre). It was raining when I left the house, so I wore a jacket.

I decided to watch Hancock, because I'm a big Will Smith fan...and also because I didn't have much choice. Either that, or I'd have to watch Sex and the City again (which I don't mind)...but Will won over Carrie...and I enjoyed the movie! Yay, good choice!

I passed by the supermarket and bought some stuff I needed for dinner. Also, I was craving for Banana Cake, and since we have a surplus of now-over-ripe bananas, I thought I'd make a cake. The sun decided to come out, after this afternoon's rain, and boy, was it hot!!! why, why, why did I wear a jacket?! I was starting to get masungit, because I had (as usual) so much shopping to carry (got carried away again -- dunno why I can never stick to the list!!! Grrrr). The bus was taking ages to arrive, and there were so many people already at the bus stop (rush hour! ang galing talaga ng timing ko!), and -- if I removed my jacket, I'd have to carry that on top of everything else. After a long wait, the bus arrived, but because I'm such a smarty-pants, I decided to get off at the station and transfer to another bus which stopped closer to home, so I wouldn't have to hassle myself by walking so far. The other bus took even more time to arrive than the first one, and I was actually burning...my face was red as a tomato when I reached home. Na-sun-burn ako, hindi pa pantay-pantay!

After unpacking the groceries, I laid out and measured all the ingredients I needed. I remembered I wanted to use my new hand mixer Pranav gave me several months ago, which I pestered him so much for. I always bake, but I'd mix everything by hand (yep, I wanted 'lovingly baked' to have deeper meaning, and also because I have a weird phobia na baka ma-ground ako). So I began...in less than a minute, my kitchen counters (plus toaster, kettle, mug tree, glasses) and cabinets were covered in butter, flour, eggs and sugar...oh, and mashed ripe bananas! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! the hand mixer had a life of its own -- like it was possessed! I couldn't work out the speed settings, and the more I switched between the numbers, the more messier my surroundings became, and the contents of the bowl in front of me disappeared - like one minute it was there, the next minute it was gone!... Mom, if you're reading this, where did I go wrong??? why did all my ingredients go flying out of the bowl? Why don't I ever listen to you? All those years I sat watching you bake, why didn't I ever take you up on your offers to try to work the mixer myself, at baket ako takot na takot ma-ground??? I had to re-do everything, and go back to hand-mixing the ingredients. I'm so tired na, and I still have dinner to prepare. I just hope the Banana Cake turns out good.

Because the baby is now a lady...

2008-06-14T16:06:00.005+01:00

Our little Sophie, growing up so fast. Just thought I'd document today's 'big event'. I can't believe how fast time goes by. When I left for London, she was just about to turn 5. And now, my best girl Ping is a little lady.

When she was born, I begged my brother Pao and sis-in-law Bheng to name her Sophie. My dad wanted her to be called Michaela. To honor both lolas, they added Leanne, as a combination of Lea (Bheng's mom)and Annette (my mom)...and so we ended up with this pretty name Sophia Michaela Leanne.

Sophie is very talented. She tops her class and receives multiple honors. She is our little chef, artist, fashionista, musician, figure skater all rolled into one. I'm so proud of this little girl, and I wish she would always know how much we love her.

It's still my dream to have her spend a summer (or as many summers as she wants) with us here in London. *calling on Bheng: hello? passport please?*

Independence Day

2008-06-12T23:00:00.001+01:00

110 years ago today, the people of the Philippines 'proclaimed sovereignty and independence from the colonial rule of Spain'.

Today is significantly a day of independence for me, too.

Because I RESIGNED TODAY.

After months and months of putting it off, thinking a thousand times, and praying about it... I finally did it.

It's been one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make, and I have to admit I had moments of self-doubt, but I stuck to my guns and just did it. It really is time for me to move on. I'm free at last.

But why do I feel this sense of emptiness... So relieved, yet so very, very sad.

I want my Mommy!

2008-06-11T17:10:00.006+01:00

It finally happened. After months of abusing myself, over working and not sleeping enough, I got sick. Really, really sick.

I don't know if this is a physical manifestation of something that's been bothering me inside, but I feel totally *crap*. I'm sore all over, my eyes are watery and my nose is blocked. I can hardly speak and my sides hurt when I cough, sneeze, or even laugh. My head feels like it's about to explode.

I feel miserable and helpless, and wish more than anything that I was back home. I long for my Mom's TLC, for arroz caldo and for my parents' giant bed where I can drown out all my aches and pains. Thank goodness for the internet. I was able to chat with my Mom for a good couple of hours, and my spirits are lifted.

I pray I get better real quick. I have to be at work tomorrow. There's something important that I gotta do...and I can't delay it any longer.

Chilly

2008-06-08T01:48:00.005+01:00

This is Chilly, my friend Maryna's black labrador.

Chilly eats anything and everything. A few days ago, he must have eaten something that made him very ill. This evening, he had to be operated on because his x-rays revealed something which seemed to be a golf (?) ball inside his stomach.

It's a good thing my friend had taken Pet Insurance for Chilly, because, as anywhere in the world, Pet Care is very expensive. Incidents like this cost about £2,500. Imagine that! Because this was so unexpected, not having Chilly's insurance would have meant they'd have to put him down. That would have been the saddest thing.

Right now, I don't know how his operation went. I can only pray for him. Chilly is so much a part of my friend's family, that I like to refer to him as her youngest. He will be celebrating his 1st birthday soon, and I hope I'll finally be able to meet him at last.

I've been thinking about this all evening...had I pursued my dream of becoming a Veterinarian, how would my life have been? where would I be right now? Would my love for animals be my biggest strength, or my biggest weakness? I guess I'll never know.

*update*

Chilly is fine. It was a paper cup (the waxed ones used to hold buttered corn) they found inside his tummy, and not a golf ball. He's recovering happily at home.

Lolo's Girls

2008-05-22T12:27:00.002+01:00

One of my favourite daily blogreads is celebrating her 5th wedding anniversary, and to commemorate the happy occasion, Toni is giving away goodies: a journal, a pair of magnetic journals, and a copy of BatJay's Mga Kwento ng Batang Kaning Lamig. Despite the distance, I thought I'd give it a go. Sali Ako!!!

When I read Toni's post My Grandfather's Voice, I was moved to tears. I lost my grandfather a few months before, and I could so relate..."I still haven’t erased his number from my phone book. It’s just there." -- to this day, when I scroll down my cellphone's phone book and I see my Pappy's name, I forget he won't be there to pick up my call. I miss him so much, that if I close my eyes, I can still hear his voice and his gentle chuckle. My greatest consolation is that we will meet again someday.

So, Toni - my fellow Lolo's Girl, Happy Anniversary to you and H. May this year bring you both all your hearts' desires - and more.

A year without Pappy

2008-05-21T00:54:00.004+01:00

It's been one year today, since my grandfather passed away. Time flew by so quickly, and I can't believe it's been a year already since I last spoke with him or heard his voice.

This photograph is the last ever photo I have with him, taken the night before I flew back to London in November 2006. My last memory of Pappy was him walking me outside, despite having to struggle getting up and moving around with his walker. He watched me from the door and blew me kisses. It was a difficult goodbye, as I again wondered if it were our last ever goodbye. I miss you Pappy. I love you and am praying for you. Until I see you again, So Long.

Thank You...

2008-04-23T01:22:00.003+01:00

...My Bubba, for the 7 wonderful years we've spent together. I will always be grateful you came into my life. I am blessed to have been a part of yours. Looking forward to the next 7 (and more)!